11 comments«123»SexfiendReport 2008-07-27 00:26:45in conclusion (because this is final) you needed to get more detail into the story and make it longer. maybe a little punctuation also. Porn movie :DREADERReport 2007-12-17 17:04:43how about a paragraph every now and again. 11 comments«123»SexfiendReport 2008-07-27 00:26:45in conclusion (because this is final) you needed to get more detail into the story and make it longer. good concept thoughREADERReport 2007-08-17 14:58:21a little short, but good«123» :DREADERReport 2007-12-17 17:04:43how about a paragraph every now and again. 11 comments«123»SexfiendReport 2008-07-27 00:26:45in conclusion (because this is final) you needed to get more detail into the story and make it longer. Sexfiend says 2/10.Bram SpeerReport 2008-06-20 18:34:16On a scale of 10, I give this story a 3. good concept thoughREADERReport 2007-08-17 14:58:21a little short, but good«123» good concept thoughREADERReport 2007-08-17 14:58:21a little short, but good«123»
