I was so sure that he was really going to kill me that night that I almost wet my pants; the only reason I didn’t is because if I had, that would have given him the excuse he needed to kill me. I would tell him that I wanted him to lick me first, and after he made me come once, I would tell him to do it again. XXX I just wanted to feel him against my lips and in my mouth, and he let me. I knew he was going to beat me, he’d made me grab it before. Since Paul wasn’t available yet, I wanted to see if I could feel the same way playing in the bathtub by myself. I imagined me on his bed—our bed, now—and
