You need more segues between events.«1» this is just confusing.gayboyReport 2008-06-05 00:45:44its to confusing.i dont know who is whoREADERReport 2007-12-24 12:28:23I loved the first chapter. Sex video the first chapter was good.. Make the switches new chapters or something.Anonymous readerReport 2008-08-05 03:09:55no no no no… this is just confusing.gayboyReport 2008-06-05 00:45:44its to confusing.i dont know who is whoREADERReport 2007-12-24 12:28:23I loved the first chapter. Just work on making the stories longer and making the transitions make more sense. no more incest… it is ruining the story line… the first chapter was good.. it is ruining the story line… But yeah, don’t switch so much between scenes. Make the switches new chapters or something.Anonymous readerReport 2008-08-05 03:09:55no no no no… the first chapter was good.. you have less and less gay sex…Anonymous readerReport 2008-06-23 16:33:42okay. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . …
